


Diaries of a Killer Robot

by UndertaleLesbianFics (MasterofDorkness)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Character Development, Character Study, Depression, Developing Relationship, Diary/Journal, Dorks in Love, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Romance, True Love, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22237765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterofDorkness/pseuds/UndertaleLesbianFics
Summary: Ever since the barrier separating the Underground from the surface was broken, Mettaton has had to deal with a lot. With a past that refuses to let him go, a swollen ego that sometimes gets in the way of his relationships, and lately, loneliness eating at him, life isn't easy for the robot superstar. And sometimes it's as though nobody is there to help him through it all -- even though there is. So he's taken up writing in diaries again as a way to cope with it all.[THIS FIC HAS BEEN PUT ON INDEFINITE HIATUS.]
Relationships: Alphys & Mettaton (Undertale), Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Mad Dummy & Mettaton (Undertale), Mettaton & Napstablook (Undertale), Mettaton & Papyrus (Undertale), Mettaton & Undyne (Undertale), Mettaton/Papyrus (Undertale)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, this is my first multichapter fic and my first shipfic (I guess..?). I really hope I continue this, because we all know how most multichapters end up...  
> I came up with the idea for this fic because I wanted to write Papyton and Mettaton angst, plus I wanted to explore the idea of Mettaton writing in diaries. And then I thought: Why not kill three birds with one stone? (Not literally of course. This is Post-Pacifist, meaning no birds were harmed in the making of this.)  
> No romance in this chapter, but the fish and lizard girlfriends are in this, so...

_"Akemi-chan!" exclaimed the cat-eared girl, tears streaking down her face. "I am so sorry, I never meant to drag you into all of this! I kissed you because I love you! If I had known that true love didn't negate the mind-control powers, then--"_

_"It's okay, Mew Mew," breathed Akemi, who was lying on the floor bruised and bloodied after having suffered a beatdown from the villain. "I love you too. And I would gladly endure mind control if it meant I got to be around you."_

Mettaton sipped at his tea indifferently. Barf. He had seen this episode of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie at least... what? It had to be nearing twenty times now, right? He had reluctantly agreed to watch it with Alphys so he could better understand why his cousin had chosen a life-size Mew Mew doll as the host for her soul. But seriously, why did his dear doctor friend and his beloved cousin have to indulge in such terrible anime? 

He would never tell a soul in public, but since the monsters were released from the Underground, he had managed to find some really good anime at Alphys' behest (thank Crunchyroll for that). And somehow, he became a bit of a... fan... of anime? No, "fan" was too strong a word. More like enjoyer. Yeah, that was a more fitting word. As much as he liked dark classics like Death Note and Black Butler, he tended to gravitate toward the campier animes, like JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. No surprise at all, considering how campy and theatrical he himself was. But this... this was trash in every sense of the word. The romance, as much as he adored LGBT themes, felt too forced and stilted. The villain was completely one-dimensional, apparently having no motive than wanting to rid the world of love. And the animation mistakes... god! You could make a full season of side-episodes from all the animation mistakes alone! He could forgive Alphys' sight problems for her not noticing them, but him having enhanced robotic eyes, they were all too obvious to him; he could swear he saw Mew Mew's dress turn orange instead of pink for a split-second at one point. And to make matters worse, this was an English dub. Mettaton wasn't too deep in the anime fandom, but after exposing himself to it, he found himself agreeing with the popular opinion that watching anime in Japanese with English subtitles was vastly superior to watching the English dub. Needless to say, he trusted Alphys' judgment on a lot of things, but anime was most certainly not one of them.

He sighed. It would be cruel of him to walk out on it now; after all, he did make a promise to his cousin that he would watch.

And this time... he'd keep that promise.

He gulped. Curse that little intrusive thought. He'd patched things up with Napstablook. They forgave him. Granted, they did mutually agree to spend some time apart for a bit to give that wound a little time to heal. It was already a stab in the gut when Mettaton returned to Napstablook after having left them behind to pursue stardom, so he could only imagine how it would have been if he tried to stay in their life every waking moment following that. But still, he felt like his cousin's forgiveness was completely unearned. Like he had done nothing to deserve it. What kind of person leaves their family without saying a word?

 _This person, evidently,_ he ruefully thought to himself. _That's who._

"Mettaton?"

Mettaton blinked. "Huh?"

Alphys was staring at him expectantly. "The anime? Hello?" she said. "You said you'd watch it with us. You've been staring out into space. I had to press the pause button so I could wait for you to come back to reality." 

Undyne sat right beside her, expression contorted into one of sheer annoyance, sharp yellowed teeth on full display and visible pupil diminished to a black speck. "Ya wanna watch or not, metal punk?" she near-yelled.

Oh. Right. The trash anime. He had been lost in thought so long he hadn't even realized Alphys had paused it.

"Are you okay?" Alphys asked. "You look a little distressed."

"Just press play," he sighed.

* * *

  
Later that day, Mettaton rummaged around in his dresser for his diary. Since monsters had gone free from the Underground, he learned that despite being as filthy rich as he was, he would eventually land himself in poverty from his frivolous spending habits. So he reluctantly decided to do the "normal thing" and record all his entries in a single diary.

The normal thing. Ha. What a concept. Normally he would pride himself on being ANYTHING but normal.

He opened the jeweled lock on the book and opened it to the middle, pausing to sniff the pages. _Mmm. That new book scent. Never gets old._ Even a performer like him with such a hectic lifestyle could just stop and enjoy the little things for once.

That, unsurprisingly, was one of the many things that some close to him found it hard to believe. And truthfully, sometimes he did too.

He uncapped his glittery gel pen and began to write.

_My dear, sweet diary,_

_Today I watched Mew Mew Kissy Cutie for the umpteenth time with Dr. Alphys and her fishy girlfriend, and after all this time I still fail to see why exactly she loves this anime. I mean, there was a reason it was thrown in the Waterfall garbage dump. You can't even find it on Crunchyroll, that's how bad it is! Now, I could have easily said no to the anime-viewing, but the truth is, I wasn't watching it for Alphys. My cousin Mews chose a life-size doll for her host body and I want to respect her and her decision._  
_After all, I can't honestly say becoming a robot was my first choice for corporeality, but it ended up being better than I expected, especially since my form is just so stunningly beautiful._  
_And if Mews feels the same about her new form, then I'll respect her and be with her every step of the way. And that's a promise I'm keeping._

Harsh memories rendering him unable to write any more, Mettaton closed his diary and locked it shut before hiding it in his dresser again. He recapped his pen and placed it back in its pencil cup before standing up and admiring his reflection in the mirror.

God, he was just so beautiful, wasn't he? This must be how Mews felt when she first acquired her body. And if Napstablook ever decided to become corporeal, he hoped they would feel the same way.

That brief feeling of confidence disappeared as soon as he stepped away from the mirror and sat down on the ground. He eventually switched to a supine position, allowing the world around him to be washed over by darkness and stars as he sifted through the conflicted thoughts in his head.

Lying on the floor feeling like garbage was a family tradition, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UT/DR blog: https://the-undertale-lesbian.tumblr.com/  
> https://masterofdorkdom.tumblr.com/


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being famous is a tough gig, in more ways than one.

The screams of the fans.

The heavenly multicolor glow of the spotlight.

The flashes of cameras in the audience.

All of this filled Mettaton with an intense exhilaration. It was like a drug, and he was chasing the euphoric high that came with it. He strutted around on stage like he owned it, microphone clutched tightly in his hand and held to his face as he sang.

There was simply no one like Mettaton. An android with a soul was already quite an innovation, but this one could sing, act, dance, cook, host... was there nothing this Renaissance man of a robot could do? And at the moment, he was performing his heart out on stage with his band; together, they were known as Mettaton and His Beauties.

His voice was known the world over for being quite the aphrodisiac; low and husky, raspy when needed, smooth and silky, slightly Broadway-tinged -- some had likened it to if bitter dark chocolate had a singing voice. And that voice was belting the final chorus of his #1 hit single, "Metal and Magic."

_So hold me closer, darling_  
_'Cause you're the one I want tonight_  
_You've softened this metal heart_  
_Can't you tell it's love at first sight_  
_Together we're metal and magic..._

It did not matter that he had written that song without having had any prior experience with romance. Mettaton was also an award-winning actor, so he performed that song with all the gusto and erotic energy of the romantic leads he'd played over the years. And clearly, the audience was digging it, if the fans' frenzied screams of "I love you Mettaton!" were any indication. Truth be told, he digged it just as much.

Performing was his drug. And the high it induced was near-irresistible.

* * *

Of course, every drug had its side-effects. 

The first thing he did when he arrived at his and Napstablook's shared hotel room was flop ungracefully onto his bed, face-down. He was absolutely exhausted. The fact that his charge was wearing down most likely had something to do with that. Mettaton much preferred that possibility over the second one: namely, that he was working too hard. There was no such thing as working too hard when you were in show business! There were shows to put on, people with whom to negotiate, fans to charm! He hated that he even considered that as a possibility.

"that was a good show, wasn't it..." 

In his state of exhaustion, he almost forgot his dear cousin Blooky was there. He lifted his head to look at them and gave them a sincere smile.

"Yes, it was," he said groggily but still warmly. "And you were fantastic out there, darling."

"oh... thank you... i wasn't really that great, though... you were way better out there"

"Nonsense! You did amazing! I think you're just as talented as me, dear cousin."

In all honesty, Mettaton was sublimely glad that he and Napstablook had managed to patch things up. Now that they were getting to do things like perform together and spend quality family time together, life was looking up for the two.

Well, perhaps for Blooky, it was. With Mettaton, it was a bit more complicated.

Of course he was happy. He was finally on the surface living out his dreams. He had a fanbase the likes of which he could only dream while still in the Underground. He had vastly expanded his empire to the point where it was nigh-impossible not to find MTT-Brand in a store. He had finally reconnected with his family and forged new relationships with people. Life was -- for lack of a better word -- great.

And yet, it all seemed a double-edged sword. He wasn't quite sure why, but everything just seemed too good to be true. He fantasized every day of having an enormous fanbase, but his new human fans were leagues pushier than the monster-only fanbase he had in the Underground. The idea of being hounded by paparazzi used to be an endlessly amusing dream back then, but now it was a horrible reality that he wished he'd never glamorized. A small part of him wished so desperately to retreat and live the life of a hermit, surrounded by his close friends and family rather than the hordes of demanding fans he'd managed to attract. 

In fact, if it weren't for the fact that his battery level was getting quite low, he could come up with a detailed plan for it on the spot. But for now, the only thing he wanted to do was find a charger to plug himself in so he could charge up and get some well-deserved rest...

Wait. He still needed to write in his diary.

He reached into his empty hotel nightstand for his diary and glitter gel pen, unlocked the diary and uncapped the pen, and wrote.

_Sweet, precious diary,_

_My band and I had just performed our first sold-out show outside of the United States. The audience tonight was amazing! I swear I have never seen so many swooning fans in one spot before._  
_But still, not everything feels quite right. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. Every bit of it. But at a certain point, the phrase "Be careful what you wish for" starts to resonate too much with you when you've been living out your dream for as long as I have. I can't believe I'm putting it like this, but lately I feel like all the attention is starting to wear me down._  
_But I can't stop now. Not when I've come this far. I need to keep giving the audience what they need._

He locked his diary and put it in his nightstand with the pen, then plugged himself into the socket next to his bed. He closed his eyes, letting the sleep-inducing effects of the charge take him over.

"G'night, Blooky," he murmured.

"goodnight, mettaton..."

As much as he hated to consider it, he really needed to take a break. He needed to slow down and live his life for a bit.

But when one was as famous as Mettaton was, breaks seemed absolutely forbidden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons:  
> Mettaton's band name is Mettaton and His Beauties. I don't know if that really counts as a headcanon because it was just what I could think of on the spot.  
> Their musical style is more diverse than most modern pop acts. I imagine it being heavily inspired by the music of the 80's. Dance-pop, rock-and-roll, experimental pop, cheesy ballads, all of that.  
> Their first hit single is called "Metal and Magic." I named it after one of the answers to the questions in Mettaton's quiz because I'm creative like that. (not)
> 
> Thanks for reading! I wasn't sure how to write this at first, but I imagined Mettaton starting to get burned out from his life as a celebrity and I wanted to explore what might be going on in his mind.  
> I think I could have done a lot better on the lyrics portion of this. I wrote those lyrics off the top of my head without a real melody in mind. And as a songwriter, I'm not proud of myself for that.  
> Next chapter will be out when it's done. I'm pretty busy recently, though, so don't expect it to be out that quickly. But don't worry shippers! That's the chapter where Mettaton and Papyrus meet for the first time, so you've got that to look forward to!  
> UT/DR blog: https://the-undertale-lesbian.tumblr.com/  
> main blog: https://masterofdorkdom.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton attends a party with some old friends and makes some new ones as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE.  
> On the plus side, however, it came out earlier than I thought it would!

Every year since the fall of the barrier, the monster kingdom had made a point of hosting a lavish party to commemorate the release of the monsters from the Underground. With their resources and immense pool of funds (it turned out monsterkind's currency of gold had a very high exchange rate in US dollars), they were able to build a Monster Capitol building, and it was from there that ambassadorial duties were carried out, laws concerning monsters were drafted and passed to the White House, and a number of public functions were held. One of those public functions was the annual Ceremony of the Barrier's Fall (which, yes, was named by the former king Asgore). This ceremony was always held in the Monster Capitol ballroom, and it was always an event to behold.

Despite this event's esteemed nature, people from all walks of life were invited to attend. All one had to do to gain access to this event was be a monster or -- if that person was a human -- be registered as a monster ally. (Frisk, of course, was granted free access to the event by virtue of being the monster ambassador to humans.)

Every year, there was always a certain small group of monsters that attended. This small group of people contained, among others: the former Royal Guard captain, the former Royal Scientist, and the star of the Underground. 

And said star of the Underground had just pushed open the double doors of the Monster Capitol with all the force he could muster and was now sashaying in like he owned the building.

"Mettaton, how many times do I have to tell you you're not allowed to do that anymore?" protested Alphys, who scuttled in behind him. "You're going to break the hinges doing that."

Mettaton looked over his sharp shoulder guards and scoffed. "At least I haven't actually done it yet, like your fishy girlfriend over there."

"Hey! I heard that!" yelled a gruff female voice behind him. "And wait for everyone else to get out of the car next time, will ya!?" Undyne had just crawled out of the luxury sportscar that they had arrived in, her previously well-done hair now threatening to become a rat's nest and her black dress suit covered in soot and torn in a few places.

Mettaton turned around to face her and crossed his arms, eyebrow raised. _Honestly._ "Look, Dyney-dyne, I'm just creating a good first impression for us as a group. If you had entered before me and Alphys, they would have thrown us out on the spot." 

Undyne was just about to make a snide remark before Mettaton decided to interrupt, "And at least dust off that soot before you walk in. Nobody wants to know that you just had an impromptu cooking session and almost burned your house down... again."

Undyne's pupil got smaller and she bared her teeth, a surefire sign that this little verbal spat was about to take a turn for the physical. "Oh, I'll dust the soot off you, punk!"

"Can you guys p-please stop fighting?" protested Alphys weakly, wringing her hands and shaking. At that, Mettaton and Undyne both declared a silent truce and ran to hug her. 

"Aww, it's okay, Alphy," reassured Undyne. "Sorry to scare you like that."

"We won't fight in public anymore, darling," cooed Mettaton. Then he side-eyed Undyne and added, under his breath, _"Right?"_

"Don't push it, ro-butt," she snarled back.

They continued into the Capitol building, attempting to regain the semblance of formality that they had almost lost. Mettaton led the way, head held high and a satisfied smirk on his face. Alphys followed behind, trying to appear confident despite the look of anxiety that crossed her reptilian features. Undyne took up the rear, a slight scowl still on her face.

Mettaton looked back at his cohorts and sighed inwardly. _So much for good first impressions..._

Soon, the three entered the ballroom. It was a sight to behold. Paintings that romanticized the war between humans and monsters and the barrier's destruction covered the cream-colored walls. Sun streamed in through large windows that were decorated with similarly cream-colored curtains. A large chandelier decked with golden flowers and jewels, each corresponding to the colors that a human SOUL could take on, hung from the center of the high domed ceiling. Tables covered in off-white cotton tablecloths lined each side of the ballroom. Each table was set for a fancy meal; in front of each chair there was a small clean china plate, silverware on each side of the plate, two crystal glasses (one for iced tea and one for water), and a coffee mug if anyone desired coffee during the meal. In the center of each table was a vase filled with golden flowers and a glowing Waterfall crystal where normally one would put a candle.

Mettaton and his party took a table near the stage, where currently a group of musicians were playing a soft ballad. Undyne nudged Alphys. "You see that girl playing piano over there?" she whispered, pointing to a blue fish creature using her fins to play the keys while the agent she stood on used the pedals. "That's Shyren. I used to give her piano lessons at one point. But I don't teach her anymore, and now she's taking lessons from a professional teacher. I'm really proud of how far she's come." Then she glanced toward Mettaton. "Hey, isn't she in your band?"

Mettaton watched her play. She was really good. She could play gentle cascading notes, complex chords, and driving melodies with ease. "Yeah, she is. She's the backup singer." he replied. "But I can definitely see where she got that talent, sweetheart!" Here he smiled genuinely at Undyne, who backed up in her seat shocked, clearly not expecting the compliment.

Then, still smiling, he leaned in conspiratorially. "Just between the three of us," he whispered, "I personally went to Asgore and asked if she could play for the ceremony. That fuzzy pushover said yes almost immediately! Oh, you should have seen the look on her face when she got that call from him!" He paused, looking at Undyne. "Wait, were you planning on playing, or...?"

Undyne chuckled a bit. "It's fine. I would have liked to play, but I guess I prefer just sitting with my friends. And my adorable weeb girlfriend!" Here she surprised Alphys with a tight hug and kissed her on her snout while the poor reptile turned beet red.

 _Oh...?_ "Sitting with your friends, eh?" Mettaton teased, feeling a smirk cross his face. "So you consider me your friend after all, fishface?"

Undyne's face settled into a half-grimace, half-smile. "A reluctant one, I guess. As long as you aren't hurting my girlfriend, _like you used to,"_ \-- here Undyne's voice lowered to an angry snarl, then went back to its normal pitch as she continued speaking, "I guess I'm fine with you."

Mettaton felt a little hurt by that side comment, but shrugged. As long as she tolerates me now, I guess, he thought.

"Speaking of friends," Undyne muttered, just loud enough for Alphys and Mettaton to hear, "I have a few who should be showing up pretty soon--"

As if on cue, a loud, somewhat nasally voice with an affected accent yelled out, "THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS ARRIVED!"

Mettaton stifled a laugh at the voice. Oh, this was going to be good.

Undyne jumped up from her seat and ran to greet the owner of the voice. "Papyrus! Hey, punk!" Mettaton watched as she tackled a tall skeleton monster to the ground and started noogieing him. "Glad you could make it!"

"UNDYNE! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT NOOGIEING THE SKELETON?" 

"we got a little caught up in traffic," came a lazier, quieter voice, which Mettaton traced back to a shorter, stouter skeleton. "but ta-da! we're here. now let's enjoy some food and music and bad jokes. courtesy of me, of course."

"WE'LL BE HAVING NONE OF THE BAD JOKES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" chastised the skeleton named Papyrus, though Mettaton thought he could see the smallest hint of a smile on his face. "BESIDES, SANS, YOU KNOW FULL WELL THAT WE WERE LATE DUE TO YOUR LAZING AROUND! IF YOU HADN'T MISPLACED YOUR SUIT IN YOUR TROMBONE, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE TEN MINUTES EARLIER!"

_Suit... in a trombone? These two certainly are an odd pair, aren't they?_

"Papyrus, you weren't even that late!" said Undyne. "My friends and I just got here and food's not even here yet!" 

Papyrus, now back on both feet after having been tackled by Undyne, stood up straight and struck a proud pose, bony arms akimbo. "WELL, A PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY OF MINE IS TO ALWAYS ARRIVE TEN MINUTES EARLY TO ANY EVENT, PUBLIC OR PRIVATE!" Then his arms relaxed. "BUT SANS WASN'T EXACTLY WRONG ABOUT US BEING CAUGHT UP IN TRAFFIC. THERE WAS A JERK ON THE WAY HERE WHO KEPT WEAVING IN BETWEEN LANES. I HAD TO RESORT TO THE DREADED CAR HORN AND ONE-PHALANGE SALUTE COMBO, WHICH I'VE HEARD A GOOD DRIVER MUST NEVER DO!"

Undyne started cackling. "Papyrus, you big dork! I'm a bad influence on you!" Calming down, she looked back at Mettaton's table. At that instant, a devious, bare-toothed grin crossed her face. Looking back to Papyrus, she said, "Hey, guys, you wanna sit with us? We've got a few chairs open."

Sans gave a non-committal shrug. "sure, why not. we were going to find someplace to sit by ourselves. but sure, we can sit with your bunch."

Mettaton watched as Undyne led the two skeletons over to her table. It was then that he got a better look at Undyne's skeleton friend, Papyrus. He was seated next to Undyne, carefully unrolling the napkin at his seat and placing it across his lap. He was wearing a red and white pinstripe suit and a red bowtie. _Odd fashion sense,_ he thought, _but charming nonetheless._

Then Mettaton thought of something. What if this skeleton was a fan of his? Considering this, he took initiative and started a conversation.

"Why hello there, darling," he drawled out in his signature romantic purr.

"HELLO ME--" Papyrus started and then stopped. His eyesockets traveled up to the star sitting across from him, and his jaw dropped. Mettaton tried to imagine what he was thinking. This skeleton's mind must have been racing with excited thoughts. Honestly, he could understand. Who wouldn't react that way if their favorite TV star, the most famous celebrity of all monsterkind, was sitting in the same exact table as them? Who wouldn't freak out?

Then Papyrus's slack-jawed expression turned into one of extreme joy as he started bouncing in his seat. "METTATON! IT'S YOU! IT'S REALLY YOU!" he squealed. "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"

Mettaton couldn't help but giggle. _Damn, he's adorable._ "Oh my, a biggest fan? I've always wanted to meet my biggest fan!" he laughed.

Papyrus looked as though he was going to faint. Mettaton could hear Sans reminding him to breathe. _But wait, if they're skeletons, how do they-- oh, whatever._

Mettaton shifted in his seat. As flattered by the praise as he was, he wanted to switch the topic to something else. Lately, he tended to be uncomfortable if the topic was just him and only him. And judging by Papyrus' apparently fanatical behavior toward him, he had a pretty clear idea of the direction the conversation would be headed in a few moments if he didn't intervene.

"So, you know Undyne?" he asked.

Papyrus' face lit up. "YES I DO!" Then he paused. "WAIT, YOU KNOW HER TOO?"

"Well, of course, darling!" he smiled. "Through my lovely scaly friend of course!" Here he laid a gentle hand on Alphys' shoulder.

"Oh, u-uh... Hi, P-Papyrus..." Alphys stammered while shrinking into her seat, uncomfortable from the attention.

Mettaton withdrew his hand, then leaned in and pointed at Alphys and Undyne, raising an eyebrow and nodding toward them. Papyrus nodded and pressed his phalanges together to make kissing hands, understanding what Mettaton was insinuating. _Nice,_ Mettaton thought. _A fellow Alphyne third wheel._

Undyne was fixing the two with a stony glare. "What are you two doing?"

"NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION, UNDYNE," explained Papyrus. "NOW, WHERE WAS I...?" Then he remembered. "OH! RIGHT! I MET HER WHILE WE WERE TRAINING FOR THE ROYAL GUARD! ALTHOUGH THE ROYAL GUARD WAS DISBANDED WHEN WE REACHED THE SURFACE, SO WE DON'T DO MUCH OF THAT ANYMORE."

Undyne grinned wildly. "Yeah! So lately I've been teaching him to cook!"

Mettaton smiled, but tried to hold back his cringing reaction. Considering Undyne's... unorthodox... methods of cooking... He made a mental note never to try Papyrus' food should he ever visit--

_Wait, what? Where did that thought come from?_

Well, he knew Undyne personally. And since Alphys and Undyne were now living together, there was a definite chance that he and Papyrus would run into each other again through their respective best friends. Maybe he'd pay a visit to Papyrus one day, who knows.

"WE STARTED OUT WITH SPAGHETTI AT FIRST," Papyrus explained, "BUT SINCE THEN, WE'VE BRANCHED OUT TO OTHER DELECTABLE RECIPES! RECENTLY, WE'VE TRIED MAKING OUR VERY OWN HOMEMADE ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM!"

"Oh man! I remember the first time we made it! We put the nuts into the ice cream maker with the rest of the mixture, which apparently you're not supposed to do, and BOOM! Damn thing exploded to bits!"

"REALLY, I'M JUST GLAD THE HOUSE DIDN'T CATCH ON FIRE."

"Almost did, though!" They way Undyne said that, it seemed like she considered it a symbol of pride.

"NO, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BAD, UNDYNE! STOP SMILING, YOU'RE SCARING METTATON!"

She wasn't. In fact, Mettaton burst into laughter -- not the showstopping chuckle he had acquired over the years, but a loud, rather unattractive laugh that he could not control. These two seemed so fun together -- especially Papyrus -- that it almost made him wonder why he didn't see Undyne more often. 

He then caught himself, noticing Papyrus' nonplussed stare. "Oh, sorry for that, sweetheart," he said, somewhat nervously. "That was just hilarious. You two sound like a riot together. Maybe I should make you two guest star on Cooking With a Killer Robot."

Sans let out a low chuckle. "you should make that your halloween episode."

The group continued like that, joking amongst themselves and recounting wild stories about their lives. Even while food was being served and after they'd finished their meals, they were still carrying on. At one point, a story Papyrus told devolved into his brother harassing him with puns.

"I REMEMBER WHEN SANS ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED HIS SOCK INTO THE VOID. HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DOES IT! IT'S LIKE SOME MYTHICAL FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE ARRANGED FOR ME TO HAVE THE LAZIEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD!"

"ohohoh man. paps sure looked ready to _sock_ me when he found out."

"SANS, THAT WAS NOT A SETUP FOR A PUN!"

"hey, come on, bro. at least we did eventually find the _darn_ thing."

"SANS, STOP IT!"

"Aw, c'mon, you dorkasaurus," chimed in Undyne. "I remember Sans telling me you used to love puns. What happened for you to suddenly get _cold feet?"_ As soon as the pun left her mouth, Undyne was cracking up. 

Unlike all the previous puns, this one managed to bring a smile to Papyrus's face. He almost gave in and burst into laughter, but caught himself just in time. "NO! I REFUSE TO BE WON OVER BY A STUPID PUN! YOU TWO, GO SIT VERY FAR AWAY FROM ME WHERE I WON'T BE HARASSED BY YOUR PUNNING!"

They, of course, did not. Papyrus grumbled and sipped at his iced tea.

Mettaton listened intently to all the conversations going on at his table, feeling more contented than he had in a long time. Before the Barrier had fallen, he had been rude and cold to the people he held dear. But ever since that day he had premiered his EX form and realized the true impact he had on the Underground, he made a point of trying to make it up to everyone he had pushed away. And now, his only regret about finally being closer to his loved ones was that his busy schedule kept him from seeing them as often as he wanted to.

Well, actually, he had a number of other regrets as well. But he'd been working on forgetting them.

That didn't matter right now, however. He was seated at a lively table with a bunch of wonderful friends: Alphys, his creator; Undyne, his acquaintance and Alphys' girlfriend; and the two very eccentric skeleton brothers he had gotten to know very well in such a short period of time -- Papyrus in particular had the potential to be a very good friend.

Mettaton just could not be happier.

* * *

It was no surprise that as soon as he got home, he immediately took to his diary to gush about the event.

_Dearest, darlingest diary,_

_I just attended the Ceremony of the Barrier's Fall, like I do every year. This time, I went with Alphys and Undyne as opposed to just going alone. And, let me tell you, I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!_  
_I got to sit with so many lovely people, like Alphys and Undyne, and two skeleton brothers whom I had never met in my life until now: Sans, a short skeleton who makes entirely too many puns (I mean, I love puns as much as the next person, but WOW), and Papyrus, who is such a lovable and excitable goofball!! And he's a fan of me, too! However, unlike most of my other fans, he didn't try to place all the focus on me -- he acted like I was a person and not some mythical, idealized vision of a celebrity._  
_In short, with all these people together, I felt loved. Wanted. And not the way fans distantly love and want celebrities. I felt like part of a family._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Yes, before anyone asks, "dearest, darlingest" is a Wicked reference.)
> 
> UT/DR blog: https://the-undertale-lesbian.tumblr.com/  
> main: https://masterofdorkdom.tumblr.com/
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! I hope I can get the next chapter out soon. Updates most likely won't be frequent, though.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celebrities can never catch a break, can they?

_"Expect to see more rain on Tuesday with a high of 66 degrees Fahrenheit--"_

Switch.

_"Ever find that your diet just isn't working to trim off that excess fat? Then you need--"_

Ugh. Switch.

_"$19.99! You heard me! $19.99! But call now and we'll double your offer--"_

God, was there nothing on TV!? Switch.

_"Is it true, then, that this sabbatical may spell the end for America's hottest, most elusive non-human celebrity--"_

Oh God. News about him. Mettaton shut off the TV and flopped backwards onto the ground.

Lying on the ground like this... what a convenient position for him to feel like garbage. And that, in full disclosure, was exactly how he was feeling. So he let the garbage feelings take him over, just as the black sky and bright stars took over his room.

He was convinced now that he made a mistake announcing over all of his social media platforms that he was going on hiatus to live his life a little. He should have expected the barrage of hateful comments on his posts. Normally, Mettaton might have been able to let the insults roll off of him like water from a duck's back. But this wasn't an essay prompt on a TV show. No, this was a post about a short hiatus that would allow him to free himself from the stresses of celebrity life and live his own life like any normal monster or human. Honestly, his fans had lives outside of idolizing him; why, then, wouldn't it make sense that Mettaton should have a life outside of performing?

Fans never understood. It didn't matter if that fan was a monster or a human, even if monsters were a little more understanding than humans. They never saw the real person behind the celebrity mask. The real Mettaton; the one who spoke relatively normally off-camera as opposed to his booming game-show host belt or his low romantic drawl (barring the terms of endearment he used both on TV and in regular day-to-day speech), the one who did not strike poses every waking moment like he did in his shows, who did not spice up each real-life moment with slasher horror like he did on his broadcasts when their normally frenetic energy threatened to peter out -- would they still love this off-camera, everyday Mettaton? He had no idea. So far, the only ones who had seen it were his cousins, his host body's creator and her girlfriend, and two skeleton brothers he met at a gathering.

He let out a deep sigh. He wanted this to be a relaxing break, free from the anxiety and stress that his work entailed. And yet all he wanted to do was call the nearest theater and set up a performance date for him to just sing and dance his heart out. He wanted to wander to his electric keyboard and work on new music. He wanted to check his email for new casting calls. Just anything... anything work-related, to win back his fans' and the presses' favor.

But no. He had to hold off. At least for another month.

He could have scheduled something with his friends to distract himself from those thoughts. Key words being _could have_. The problem was, all of his friends were busy. 

Alphys and Undyne were off in San Diego attending their first Comic-Con. They offered for him to go with them, but he refused ( _"Oh, come on, darling. I'd already crossed the threshold of nerd-dom when you dragged me into anime. Don't involve me in the cosplay fandom, too."_ ). Looking back, now he just wanted to pull together a last-minute L from Death Note look and arrange some last-minute tickets to see his friends. Sure, he would be missing the first two days of the con, but he'd still have a chance to spend some quality time with the people that he cared about and in return who cared about him. Alphys was his body's creator-- hell, she was like a big sister to him-- and even if Undyne was a bit much, deep down Mettaton still valued her company as well. But what was said was said. And now they were enjoying cosplay and geeky stuff without him.

He'd asked Frisk if they wanted to come over and hang out with him. He'd offered to take them on exquisite shopping trips and even bought two tickets to see the latest Pixar movie. The hangout almost ended up happening (with no small amount of hyping up done on Mettaton's part), but then ambassadorial duties called. Asgore, Toriel, and Frisk ended up having to travel to Washington, D.C. for a leaders' conference to discuss monster-human relations. When Frisk told Mettaton the news, it put quite the damper on his mood, but they promised that they would hang out some other time. In the meantime, Mettaton found himself resorting to watching the movie with Napstablook. It was a great movie, but Pixar movies being what they were and Napstablook being who they were, the poor ghost had cried the entire time. Mettaton could not even focus on the plot because he was too busy trying to cheer up his cousin with hugs and reassuring words. As he left the theater, he made a mental note to himself never to take Napstablook to a Pixar movie.

He could have hung out with Mews, but she was currently enrolled in a taekwondo class and he was quite hesitant to be around her when she was practicing. Which turned out to be all the time.

With the severe lack of people for him to hang out with, Mettaton spent the entire day -- actually, the entire week -- alone and bored.

He thought once or twice about going out in public, maybe to a park or a restaurant. After all, whether one was a human or a monster, a little fresh air never hurt the soul. But even if he put on a disguise and/or surrounded himself with bodyguards, the human paparazzi were still liable to hound him and ask intrusive questions. They were annoying like that. 

What did it matter to him what his life was like, who he was dating, et cetera? Yes, he was famous, but he did not owe them a place in his life. All that mattered was that he was a performer, a star. He had nothing to prove to anyone. 

Or, at least, that's what he kept telling himself.

The truth was, he felt like he had everything to prove to everyone. Specifically, he wanted to prove to everyone that A): he was the brightest star in the world and he was deserving of love and adoration, and B): he was a person; he wasn't just the man, the myth, Mettaton-- despite his wealth and his fame, he lived a life just as normal as every other person--

No. Not a normal life. To him, the word "normal" meant bleak, uninteresting, unchanging... much like his life at the snail farm.

Even as a ghost, he never truly felt understood. He was a restless soul with dreams that extended far beyond the sky-- even the farthest reaches of the universe-- and yet it felt sometimes like few paid any heed to them. The problem with not feeling understood, however, was that it led to him burning his bridges with the people he loved. His cousins didn't understand when he confessed that he wanted to be a star. Wasn't that why he left them behind in the first place...?

_No. Stop that, Mettaton._

This kind of thinking was why he had ruined his relationships in the first place. Why Napstablook was so depressed all the time, why his relationship with Alphys was strained...

God, he could be such a jerk sometimes. 

After a few minutes, he began to have a headache. He sat up from his supine position on the ground and allowed the darkness and stars around him to fade.

 _Maybe I am overthinking things,_ he thought. _When everyone gets back from their trips, everything will go back to the way it was. I won't have to spend my entire break overthinking and stressing myself out._

The problem, though, was that even when everything was alright, he still overthought and stressed out.

It was a good thing that he had a multitude of coping mechanisms at his disposal. He could experiment with new fashion looks, read a little, write in his diary...

Actually, the last one didn't sound like that bad an idea.

* * *

_Mon cher diary,_

_I'm glad I have you to vent about my troubles. Even when I'm at my most vulnerable, you never judge me for anything. I just wish you were a living person instead of an inanimate object._  
_I'm supposed to be on break now, but nobody's available for me to hang out with. With the girlfriends at con and the Dreemurrs at a leaders' conference, it's just been me all alone, staying indoors, trying to have fun while avoiding the eye of the paparazzi..._  
_I wish I had more friends to hang out with. People who understand me, who won't take advantage of me, who identify with my struggles._  
_But that's just wishful thinking, isn't it? It's hard to be friends with a celebrity._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just now realizing what I've been doing to this poor character. He needs a hug.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Make sure to leave comments and kudos! It really means a lot to me that people like and appreciate my work.  
> UT/DR blog: https://the-undertale-lesbian.tumblr.com/  
> main: https://masterofdorkdom.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> UT/DR blog: https://the-undertale-lesbian.tumblr.com/  
> main blog: https://masterofdorkdom.tumblr.com/


End file.
